If you have any form of social media, you’ve probably seen people posting their achievements, travels, lavish lifestyles, designer merchandise etc and sometimes you may feel like you’re not doing enough for yourself. I’ve been trying to answer what it really means to invest in myself and at first I thought it was all about becoming financially stable and making a name for myself but I’ve come to realize that, that’s just 10% of it. So what’s the other 90% ?
The 90% has to do with self growth. What is self growth? This may vary from person to person but for me it’s reflecting, listening, getting to know myself, identifying areas of improvement as well acknowledging my milestones. The society we live in could turn us into mean people because it is very individualistic and we could lose ourselves in all the chaos. I’m definitely guilty of this.
Investing in yourself is about taking time out to tune out the noise and gain perspective on what it is that your are chasing and finding your purpose. It is learning how to speak my truth with love. What this means to me is talking to people in a way which honestly conveys what i’m trying to say without diminishing their worth as human beings. Sometimes we could be all about truth and no love which could damage the relationships in our lives. (stolen from my Pastor)
On the other hand, tuning out the noise is actually very difficult because we all want to belong and follow where the world is going but it isn’t always black and white. If we always try to keep up and follow, we may kill our own creativity.
I’ve been out here chasing this American dream that I almost lost myself and forgot who I am. I had to take a step back and reflect. I’m trying to better for my family but if I don’t really take time to cultivate these relationship and actually spend time with them, then what’s the point? The job is gonna be here but they won’t always be here. If you can make time to work extra hours, you can definitely make time f or loved ones, because at the end of the day our values and identity stems from our roots and once you forget your roots, you become lost.
Investing in yourself is asking a lot of WHYs and seeking deeper understanding instead of blindly following. When you ask WHY, you challenge your own believes, biases and stereotypes and become a better person. You form additional values and identities.
Self Growth is the 90% and when you focus on the 90%, you start believing in yourself and discover the voice you never knew you had. You become comfortable with the uncomfortable and are not afraid to challenge ideas in a respectful way. Additionally, you diminish your attacking and defensive tendencies and portray your point of view in an eloquent way. You become better at communicating (Not referring to saying things which make you appear smarter and better than everyone else, that’s bullshit communication )
Investing in yourself is about stepping out of your comfort zone, reading, doing things which make you feel alive and diversifying your friends to learn more about other cultures. This has been one of the most valuable things for me, because I’ve learned things that I could never learn in any classroom.
When you start taking the time to invest in yourself you would start filtering the company you keep. You would long for intellectually stimulating relationships and may find little value in things which you may have valued in the past.
I’ve been doing a lot of self reflection and journaling lately and one thing I’ve decided to do, is ensure that my blackness doesn’t over power my other identities. Would explain this in another post.
Thanks for reading!!!
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Alieh Kimbeng 