Happy Black History Month Everyone!!
Today I will be writing about the beauty of black hair, the struggles and why we need to more education surrounding black hair. Just to clarify, when I say black hair I am not talking about the color black, I am talking about the hair of people with roots in Africa.
Growing up, I had very thick and long natural hair which was very difficult to manage. My mom decided to shave half of it and my go to hairstyle was something called punk rasta. As I grew older, I wanted a perm because it was cool and my friends were doing it, but my dad won’t let me. I went to boarding school at the age of 10 and had to shave all of my hair so, I didn’t have to worry about getting a perm or leaving my hair natural.
After I finished boarding school, I was like yessss I can finally get a perm because I am grown enough to decide if I want a perm or not, and my dad can’t tell me no. So I got a perm but surprisingly my hair did not get straight, it looked like a blow out. Just to give you some context on my hair texture. I have what they call Kucha Banga hair so the 4C of the 4C hair, if that makes sense. A couple of months later, I decided to try again with a stronger relaxer but the same thing happened, my hair didn’t really get straight. I continued relaxing my hair until one day in 2013 or was it 2014, I really looked in the mirror and realized that I hated my hair straight. It wasn’t me, so I cut it and went natural.
That is my natural hair story, so now let’s move on to understanding natural hair and the challenges that come with it. When I start working, I wore wigs because I was the only person who looked like me on my team and I wasn’t comfortable wearing my own hair. I moved to a new team where I felt more comfortable and safe, so I started wearing my hair the way I wanted without having to worry about fitting in or my hair being “unprofessional” It is really sad but a lot of black women and men don’t feel comfortable wearing the hair that they are born with, because they might be judged for it, hence they cannot fully be themselves in spaces.
Black hair is unique and it is unlike any other on the planet. First of all, sometimes it grows towards the sky (depending on what black hair type you have). I can’t just wake up in the morning and hop in the shower and wash my hair and put on conditioner and call it a day. When I have to wash my hair, I have to set aside at least four hours, because it is a whole process of detangling, washing, conditioning, deep conditioning, twisting, letting it air dry overnight etc. For some people it takes an entire day.
Water and Black Hair
Water is black hair’s best friend and enemy. Best friend because water is needed to hydrate our hair and enemy because you don’t want water randomly on hair because it shrinks. When water touches black hair in its natural form it shrinks. Imagine having hair that is 6inches long and when water touches it, it shrinks to 3inches. This is why black women and men run from the rain and say things like “ I am not trying to get my hair wet” when they are in the pool, because when that water hits our hair, we have to go back to washing, conditioning, stretching etc, and no one has 4+ hours everyday to do that.
Protective Styles
Black hair needs to be protected like a gem, like a child, like your most priced possession, because if you don’t, you will loose it, literally. Protective styles can range from braids, to wigs, to twists, to cornrows and much more. In the winter especially, most people with black hair braid they hair because it breaks if you just leave it out. In the summer humidity takes over and acts like a steamer when we wear out hair out, hence the shrinkage is real.
Rules
When it comes to black hair, they are no rules. You need to learn what works for you and your hair texture and do that. Different Black hair textures make their own rules, which is why hair rules that apply to non-black students, professionals etc cannot apply to those with black hair. We need more people who understand what it means to have and take care of black present in those discussions, to create environments which is are fair for all. I didn’t decide what hair to be born with, so I shouldn’t be penalized or made to feel uncomfortable because I choose to embrace my hair.
Perm and Heat
Chemicals in general alter black hair. Perms make it straight and if our hair is flat ironed a lot, it loses it’s natural curls. Some people choose this route for various reasons. When I permed and flat ironed my hair, it was because it was easier to manage compared to when I had curls. Whether you hair is permed or natural it doesn’t make it any less NATURAL or “black”.
Spaces and Black Hair
Black hair faces a lot of scrutiny in society, from work places to schools and much more. Black students are not allowed to have braids because we don’t understand that they need braids to protect their curls and they can’t just wash their hair in 5 to 10 minutes and call it a day. In some spaces, Black professionals are told that they can wear their natural hair as long as they keep it “constant and consistent” others are not even sure If they can wear their natural hair or not. Sometimes the black hair doesn’t respond to twist because it has a mind of its own and my wash and go won’t always turn out right, so I can’t promise you consistency. Sometimes I will have braids for about a month to protect my hair and after that I will have my natural hair out because my hair needs a breather and I just want to wear my hair out. Sometimes I will throw on a wig because I can’t deal with my hair today and the next day I will be have my natural hair or another wig because that’s what I am feeling, so I can’t promise you consistency. It’s okay to tell me my hair is cute. Be curious and ask me why my hair looks different everyday as along your intent is to learn and be educated. It is never okay to just touch my hair without asking, especially if we are not cool like that. I understand that we are curious beings as we should be, but a “It is okay if I touch your hair or your braids” goes a long way.
Think of the things which people with black hair have to worry about which you don’t even have to think about and have more empathy and understanding. Let’s all create a black hair friendly society, so that I don’t have to think about being judge because of my hair during interviews or in a spaces and I can actually focus on doing my job, or being student or just being me. Let’s include black hair discussions as part of our onboarding to increase awareness. As we continue to talk and create black hair friendly spaces let us as black women and men be more aware when we ourselves are projecting and making it unsafe for others who have chosen to wear their natural hair, because we have chosen to conform or because we have been treated unfairly in the past or because we think that we don’t deserve to be in the space and we should be grateful. YOU DESERVE TO BE THERE AND BE WHO YOU ARE.
Disclaimer: The Content and struggles may or may not be relatable to you based on your hair texture, ethnicity and experiences.
Alieh Kimbeng 