February brought a whirlwind of experiences my way. Attempting extensive home renovations, I found myself overwhelmed and, unfortunately, fell victim to a scammer contractor, resulting in a significant financial loss. Somehow, managing to find the positives in this experience has kept me going because losing a lot of money could send one to a downward spiral.
I didn’t realize how much having a cozy home meant to me until this contractor wrecked the place, took my money and disappeared. I love being at home but for the first time in my life I don’t want to be home. My home was build in 2022, so honestly I had no business trying to do these many changes. I am continuing to learn that because I have an eye for design and because I focus on human interaction when designing every space, my next home would be designed by me or either flipped to suit my needs. In summary, I am done with home renovations and currently focusing on saving up for my next home.
Valentine’s Day was last month and let’s just say I stopped and smelled the roses. My only job was to show up for four days and not worry about anything. loved every moment of it. I don’t remember the last time a man curated a four day itinerary for me, got me a personal chauffeur, and just told me to show up. It was quite refreshing because nowadays, I feel like dating has become so watered down and expectations are so low. People no longer value the journey. I can dive deeper into this in my next post, because I know that these statements can be interpreted in so many ways.
Love and connection are things that would fade away with time, because as humans, most of us don’t even know what love is or how to treat ourselves, let alone others. Read 1Cor 13:4-8 and ask yourself, do I really love myself and others like this? (I know I don’t)
When it comes to relationships, I value compatibility and respect, not connection or “love”. If I am not naturally inclined to respect you and your choices, I don’t need to be with you and vice versa. Shared values, psychological safety, and a unified approach to life are non-negotiable. The way we chose to walk this earth has to align. There’s no compromise on any of these because we would constantly be in conflict.
While my dating history has seen its fair share of ups and downs, I’ve discovered that love often finds us when we least expect it. As humans, it is natural for us to want connection and want to share our life with someone and sometimes this desire causes us to act out of desperation and we don’t even realize it. I am in a space in my life where I am genuinely content in solitude and just want to live and enjoy this beautiful world God created for us. Continuing to emphasize compatibility over connection because I can never grow to be compatible with someone but I can always grow to “love” my partner. I have learned never to get into anything especially love, out of desperation or because you don’t want to be alone because you would over compromise your values and lose who you are in the process. When you lose yourself in anything or someone, you have nothing else to fall back on when things get hard.
I always say life and God have a funny way of humbling us and showing us when our prayers don’t align with our choices. You can’t go down on your knees everyday and pray for a man who loves God and then decide to date an Atheist and want God to favor that relationship. This is what I mean when I say God has a funny way of showing us when our prayers don’t align with our choices.Usually it involves lots of tears.
I understand that trusting God can be challenging, especially in the world we live in, where everything often seems superficial and just for show. If you’re like me and occasionally view things through a surface-level lens, particularly in relationships, it might be helpful to take a moment to reflect on your past experiences. You’ll likely notice instances where you placed importance on trivial things, like height (haha), and perhaps it’s time to shift your focus to what truly matters, such as whether you can find peace with your partner. After all, experience has a way of teaching us valuable lessons.
As I continue to learn everyday, my father’s wisdom echoes in my mind, reminding me that people seldom value what comes easily. Experience, a profound teacher, teaches us to shift our focus from trivial aspects to what truly matters. As we navigate the complex terrain of relationships, remembering this lesson becomes crucial.
In wrapping up this month’s reflections, I invite you to share your thoughts. Don’t forget to subscribe for more engaging content.
Alieh Kimbeng 