How to Let your Introvert Self Shine and Use it to your Advantage

Have you ever walked into a social gathering and everyone else jumps right and starts making small talk and you are the only one who takes a step back to observe the room before jumping in? After a night or day of spending time with a lot of people, do you feel mentally exhausted and need sometime alone to recharge? ? If you answered ‘no’ to both of these questions, be prepared to learn something about introverts. If you answered yes to one or both of these questions, read on to gain some insights about your introverted friends and learn how to let your introvert self shine without changing who you are.

It’s okay to prefer texting to calling
Some people think that texting is such a millennial thing, which is true but as an introvert I always prefer texting over calling because I have the opportunity to think before responding. Own it and let the people around you know your preferred method of communication.

You don’t have to engage in every conversation. Speak up only when you want to
Sometimes when people meet me for the first time, their first impression is I am standoffish or bougie, for a while I used to feel bad about it and I will try to fit in with my extroverted friends. It became so draining and fake so, I decided it wasn’t the effort. I decided to be me and love me. As an introvert, sometimes you feel pressured to say something because everyone else is and you don’t want to be “that person”. It is okay most of the time to just listen and not try to match the voices of your extroverted friends or make small talk. Just drop gems in a conversation when you feel like it. (This should be easy, since you are actively listening)

Your listening and analyzing skills are your super power
As an introvert we are usually not the loudest in a room but we are the ones with the most insight because while everyone is talking, you are able to ignore the noise, truly listen, understand people and gain insights that others usually miss.

Introspect
One of the things which I love about being an introvert is the fact that I enjoy spending time alone which allows me to introspect and discover myself a little more. Only when you truly know yourself, can you form deep connections with other people.

Take time off to on team projects to work alone and strategize
Sometimes working on a team can get overwhelming because there are too many voices and opinions. Even though, there is no I in team, I encourage to take some time off to work alone then present your ideas to the group. It doesn’t mean you are not a team player, it just means you are playing on your strengths and finding the right find balance.

Don’t over analyze every single thought before you speak up
As an introvert, we are prone to perfectionism because we think deeply, over analyze and have difficulty saying no. This is mentally draining, feeds our perfectionism and makes us spend most of our time in our heads. We are usually living in the future instead of the moment. Take a break from analyzing and speak up before that inner voice shuts you up. This will allow you to be your best introverted self.

Celebrate and learn from your failures
One draw back of over thinking and analyzing is; you don’t take feedback very well and feel worthless every time you fail. It always seems very black and white. Every situation has a lesson embedded in it, so try to figure out what it is instead of focusing on the one thing you did wrong. The focus should not be what you did wrong. It should always be, how can I overcome the challenge the next time.  . What helps me is actually verbalizing my affirmations out-loud so as to numb that voice in my head telling me to be quiet. It may seem awkward at first but I promise you it works in the long run. I have also found that, changing my mindset to view things from a different perspective also helps. 

Let people know how you want to be treated and ask for what you need
We introverts think deeply about everything. We are also very compassionate and have difficulties saying no. Hence, we are good candidates for being workaholics and carrying the world on our shoulders. You need to be selfish once in a while and put yourself first. Be honest with yourself. The kinder you are to your introvert self, the better she/he will serve you.

Leverage your thoughtfulness and ability to form deep connections with people as your moment to shine
It is okay if you suck at small talk. Who do you think people remember after a conversation, the person who was amazing at small talk or the person who formed a deep connection with them? (Do not be deep from the beginning though… lol. Ease your way in. Too deep too early might scare some people away.)

Look at yourself from a different lens
The fact that you may not be fitting in is an indication that you are standing out. Standing out is a distinguished position – remember that. You bring insights into various situations and see things others don’t, just by standing out. 

Take a chance on yourself
Introverts as I mentioned before are good recruits for perfectionism, because we rarely take chances or start things unless we are certain it will work out. The few times I have taken a chance on myself have been very rewarding. As you take more chances, you start breaking the pattern of perfectionism and the voice in your head analyzing every single thought and move slowly starts to fade away. You may even discover that you have an extroverted side kick that shows up once in a while.

Dear introvert, take care of yourself and love you for you. Engage in things that will bring out the best version of you. Things which require a lot of brain power will serve you well. Figure out how to honor your introvert self in a society that honors extroverts.

Alieh

Disclaimer: This post may or may not be relatable to you as it is based solely on my experiences and talking to other introverts